Gaming Law to Be Enforced

Mandatory law forces children to play war game, “Call Of Duty.”

[Washington, D.C.]- President Obama has passed the “No Non-Gamer Left Behind” law. The bill states that everyone in the country over the age twelve is required to play the popular video game, Call of Duty, at least 3 hours a day. Senator Ronald Sterling said, “I think it will work out great. People these days are so stressed out and it will give them a chance to rejuvenate.” One of the major points in the bill, is the section where it states that households without a gaming console, will provided with one so that everyone has access to the video game.

This has a great number of young people ecstatic. Teenager Jimmy Pines said, “I have been asking my mom for a PlayStation 4 for so long. Now we get to have one for free, and she has to play with me.” The new law has others extremely upset. Sylvia Rosenplat said, “I have never played that war game in my entire life. Why is the government making me play it for 3 hours every day?” The amount of hours played are tracked through a “stat recorder” installed in every home’s game console. Anyone who does not log in their required hours will be charged $15 for every day missed.

This story has been arranged by the Communications 151 and 341 classes, at Southeastern Louisiana University. No persons, animals, zombies, or ghosts were harmed during the production of this story. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, is simply a figment of one’s own imagination. This story was created for comedic purposes only, and may be unsuitable for the oversensitive, non-humorous, or those individuals with illogical religious beliefs. This story contains scenes that are utterly appalling and may cause involuntary outbursts of laughter. These outbursts may in turn lead to crying, potentially inducing red-eye. Catching red-eye may cause one to be mistaken for a zombie… zombies are killed. Individuals with a great fear of the unknown should take extra caution. Southeastern Louisiana University will not be held accountable for any misfortunes. Happy Halloween!

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Post Author: Tyler Guidroz

Tyler Guidroz
I am a Communication Major at Southeastern Louisiana University with a concentration in film/video. Some of my hobbies include playing video games, video editing, reading comic books, making short films, and watching movies. I am currently working at The Southeastern Channel. I am a huge Marvel fan and love all superhero movies!